Posted this over at You, Me and Everyone, but I felt you guys needed to hear this. Below is the trailer for the new Cold War Kids album, as well as the new title track Something Is Not Right With Me. I fucking love it.

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Cold War Kids – Something Is Not Right With Me

Also, below is one of my favorites, straight outta Nashville, Tennessee. You can just feel the energy in that room, and if I were there, I would have been jumping around like I was on fire.

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1. Lean Cuisines
2. Soup from a can
3. Having time to exercise

Meh, I can live without two of those things.

Yes, this was my way of saying I have a boyfriend.

1. Going to the gym with my father on Saturdays and getting coffee afterwards.
2. Finding my mom asleep on the couch in front of the TV, waking her up so she can move upstairs, then finding her asleep again in the exact same position.
3. Sunday breakfasts at The Coffee Beanery after church.
4. Driving to Columbia to visit my friend Elise.
5. Going to Sonic right after work.
6. Going to Sonic right before work.
7. Having Audra and her friends around the house.
8. Taking Audra and her friends to the grocery store in my mother’s car on a Red Bull run.
9. Constantly waking up my brother so he can get to work on time.
10. Maura coming through the back door when arriving home for a visit.
11. Being able to hug my mother.

While Emma is busy in the Vineyard, I thought I’d tell ya’ll about my friend, or moreso, his ex-girlfriend. Now, they just ended a two year long relationship after his having to endure what some would like to call “hell,” and I’m only writing about this because in some ways, it is a veritable gold mine of ridiculous phrases, quips and conversation. As I love those things in an unhealthy way, I thought I’d use my journalistic talents to tell his story. For the purposes of this story, I feel I should let you in on who she is. Her name is Katie, she’s blonde, she’s beautiful, she’s bulimic, and if put on Survivor, we’re pretty sure she’d eat the other cast members and then wonder where everyone went. It’s also good to note that she told us at a party that she could speak in tongues and kept warning us that the rapture was coming. She also slept with said friend at said party, and as I remember it, this is the conversation that led to commitment.

(It’s important to note that at the time, he was living in our fraternity house, and everyone knew about last night’s antics, and that there are four of us who are best friends, including him.)
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(As I walk in the room)
G: I don’t know man… should I add her as a friend?

M: Why not? I mean, you have two friends in common, so technically you kind of know her. Plus, you did sleep with her last night.

G: Yeah, but if I don’t remember it, she probably doesn’t…

(Down the hall) HEY! How do you spell DOUCHEBAG?

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Normally, I’d give him a speech about how he just ruined his life through promiscuity, but as she told us the rapture was coming, I didn’t have time to think. A few months later, he took her along to a date party, and we/our dates had the privilege of riding with her. As we all piled in, we stood awkwardly for a second waiting for her to press 26 because she was right in front of the panel. What happened next I will be able to repeat verbatim for the rest of my life.

Me: Hey, I think you need to press 26.

Katie: Oh! You’re suppose to press a button! I think this happened last time.

M: Wait, last time?

(Everyone giving said friend a look akin to “are you f**king serious? ”)

(Sighing while shaking his head) Look, just hit the button.

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Now, this went on for two years, and while I have a rolodex filled with her particular brand of common sense, this is a blog, and we were taught never to make a story too long, so I’ll leave you with this. It might be the best thing she’s ever said, and it wasn’t even directed at us.

(While holding a shake –n- bake box)

So, what, do I like, just shake it?

Collectively, I have about seven years of experience behind the wheel of a car, and I’d like to announce that I have a great idea for an automobile movie.

The idea came to me after an incident this weekend where a very small woman driving a plane-sized truck took off the front of my car, which left me wondering if most rural people knew what driving was “all about.” With “Hey, I’m About To Go Through This Intersection, So Please Hit Me,” I feel I can change that.

“Hey, I’m About To Go Through This Intersection…” is classic David vs. Goliath story. Its hero, Me, is a gifted, idealistic young driver trying to make it as a beacon of safety in the highly competitive world of rural driving. Faced with competition from a tiny elderly woman who kind of resembles the word retardation, I must choose between continuing to live with a clean driving record or swerving into traffic out of hatred for the world, as she will soon tell the police I, in fact, did. In the end, the choice is clear. I must swerve.

Of course, in the movie, I’ll probably drive a badass Land Rover, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, on a musical note, I’ve posted some tracks by one of my favorites DJ’s here.

Here’s hoping USAA fixes everything.